Invisible Labor

Abstract

I chose to make a book about motherhood, specifically some of my experiences with childbirth, postpartum, and breastfeeding. In my intersectionality paper for diversity class, I wrote about being a mother as my experiential identity, saying the experiences of motherhood have shaped my identity in many ways. As intersectionality demonstrates, we can’t separate out our identities, and I can see how this is true here. Motherhood for me is an impactful experiential identity, but it is also an outer and inner identity. For instance, I get carded at the grocery store less often when I have my kids with me because of how I am perceived.

In this piece, I wanted to explore the inner part of this identity, some of the parts of motherhood that aren’t seen and aren’t known to the world. I suppose I mean some of the parts of myself that aren’t seen or known to the world; the parts that aren’t easy or pretty or often talked about; the parts that don’t make my Instagram feed or the family Christmas card…the parts that only I know.

The most intense moments of motherhood, the moments that became turning points in my life, haven’t happened at the park, or the grocery store, or on vacation. They happened in our home, in a hospital, or at a medical appointment, or in the middle of the night. Moments and struggles that very few people really know about or were present for. These moments taught me who I am and who I could be. These moments scared me, empowered me, and most definitely transformed me.

When I look at these images, I feel the feelings that past versions of me felt. I remember what it was like to be her. To struggle, and cry, and work, and love, and care, and grow, and suffer, and succeed. For me these are the iconic images of my motherhood, all turning points in my life, the moments that were pregnant with my developing identity.